Forever friends..

Picture two girls both opposites complete polar opposites, but it worked.-
That was me and my best friend Debs. 

She was the crazy one with moths in her purse, who didn’t know how to use a washing machine and kept eating all my custard creams when she came to visit. She slept on our sofa, she was so innocent she made me laugh until I cried. I loved the bones of her. I was the sensible one who wasn’t a big drinker, carried plasters in my handbag and always had £20 in my bra for an emergency. 

Ying and Yang. The French to my Saunders. The cheese on my chips. My crazy soul sister.

I'd sleep at her house and wear her big brothers tshirt. Much to his frustration. We'd watch friends and Sandra Bullock movies until stupid o'clock. The childhood we had will stay with me forever.

Oh did I mention how much I loved her. I did? Good..

Now picture me on my honeymoon and receiving a call that she’s in a medically induced coma because she’s been in an accident whilst house sitting at my place. Thirteen years of friendship ended with the shatter of my heart.

Several slow and blurry weeks later she was gone. 

And this wasn’t the first time this had happened. When I was 17 I lost my dearest friend and one of my first true loves. Todd. The pain of losing someone so young is crushing. I can’t begin to imagine what it is like for their families. I can only describe what it feels like as a friend. I remember getting a text and screaming that uncontrollable sound that only grief can cause across my garden. My legs gave way from underneath me and my world crumbled on the spot. 

Losing friends so young is heart breaking, it’s unbelievable, it’s wrong, it’s confusing it’s painful, it’s numbing and it’s down right dark.

And that grief will never leave me or anyone who loved them. It just comes in waves and you just eventually learn to swim in those choppy seas. Because a life has ended too soon. 

So what did this teach me?....Because as we know there is always a lesson. 

It taught me life is can be so very short, tacky.. yeah I know but it truly did. 
It taught me to dive right into friendships because time is precious. I have zero time for mundane conversations. I'm that kind of girl that will jump into your car after two texts for a 3 hour road trip to the beach and I want to know it all. Ask anyone I know, some run for the hills and others are totally up for me cracking that nut wide open. 

So what else...

It taught me to speak my mind on the spot because you might not have tomorrow.
It taught me to say “love you” anytime I please. (Any of my true friends will tell you I say and text this all the time.) In fact I shout it down the phone at the end of every call to one of my friends because she apparently doesn't do emotion well. Tough Shit because I love you! 

It taught me how so very lucky I am to have the chance to make more friends, to raise a family and to just get another day. 

But above all these two precious people taught me to be myself and live life as loud as I want. Because before you’ve even realized it’s started it could be finished. 

So today's lesson and reminder is to just dive right in, Say Hello to people, pop up in their inbox with a Gif. Make friends, go for coffee.

You have nothing to lose except if you don't reach out.

 Well you may just of missed a chance at finding a new best friend. 

Oceans of Love Cx

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