the first time i truly believed in angels..

​Five years ago life was very different, as I sat in a mobile home with only the light of the gas fire I listened to the rain on the tin roof...

As I sipped on my coffee I watched my children sleeping top tail on the sofa. It was 3am and the coughing fits had subsided for now. 

I had that helpless feeling in the pit of my stomach. That feeling when your baby bears are unwell and you cant do much more to help them. You know the one. That awful feeling of utter utter helplessness mixed with a yearning for something more. All churning in my stomach. 

Usually the sound of the rain fall soothes my mermaid soul, but tonight it just wasn't going to cut it. 

I asked myself..What did I do to deserve this? How can I possibly change this? I'm stuck in mess of a life and I'm supposed to be leading the way for my children. 

So in between the tears and quiet whimpers I found myself in the dark doing something I have never really done before.

 I prayed. 

Now lets make this clear I am not the praying type, but I've said it more than once and I'll say it again. When shit hits the fan and we have our back against wall we ALL pray. Weather it's to a particular god or the universe. We all find ourselves looking at the sky and asking for a miracle, a sign, or just simply some help. 

In my case I prayed to my angels. Something I had always kinda believed in, but truth be told I didn't like to ask for anything before, because like a lot of people I considered them to be too busy and my needs to be unimportant. 

Whilst still crying I asked the angels not for a lottery win, not for a magical escape from this ice box. But for one thing that at that moment I needed most. Healing for my baby bears. I needed them to be well again before the icy winter really hit us. 

As I began to speak in my mind. a warmth came about me, almost like someone had wrapped me head to toe in a cosy blanket. But this heat was coming from the inside of me. I sat very still, not scared but lets say I was a little on edge. I glanced around the room and tiny dancing lights began to appear. 

At first they flickered in and out of my sight, then they gradually grew bigger like green dancing fireflies. Yes I did the usual, rubbed my eyes, blinked a few times. But it was still there and the more I watched the more they appeared until they had almost filled the room. 

As I watched in amazement I began to relax and my breathing went from short gasps and sniffles to a sense of deep deep calm. 

I watched the dancing lights until I could not keep my eyes open any longer. As my heavy eyelids closed I knew my Angels had responded to my call. 

When I woke, the heaviness had lifted on the shack. I looked out of my window at my favorite tree and I knew life was about to change, and that change started with me. 

From that Day I call upon my angels whenever I need assistance. Big or small. Sometimes I feel their presence as I call them, or I see a flicker of light or a change in energy. And other times I don't see or feel anything. But either way I know they are always listening and ready to assist. 

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